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We’re rational and scientific. We understand that every creature has its place and role to fill in nature. All animals are equally beautiful and together we’re part of this big, happy blue ball we’re all hurtling around space on…

…except for spiders. Spiders were put on this earth exclusively to bite us when we’re not looking and crawl up our noses while we’re sleeping in order to lay eggs in our brains. 100% of scientists agree that the immediate and total annihilation of all spiders is the most pressing task for humanity at the moment, more than twice as important as stopping global warming and ending world famine put together. Spiders are pure evil.

But hey, if you want a giant monster in your home, who are we to judge? Our 23 Inch Gray Spider has bendy legs, so the number of horrifying positions you can pose it in is limited solely by your imagination. Order yours today! (Also makes a great Christmas decoration if you’re insane.)