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So we hear you’re off to find a heart!

Good for you! We’ve been looking for ours for a while now. It’s a bit difficult working with bodies made of metal though. There’s not a lot of flexibility when your joints are covered in it. And don’t even get us started on the polish and upkeep of such shiny substances. Not to mention our entire Marketing department is constantly experiencing stiffness problems and they need to be oiled regularly! It’s quite the nuisance.

Apparently having a heart may spare us from these metal-induced difficulties we’re having. So if you’re off to find one, keep an eye out for extras, okay? We’re a bit tired of freezing up in the parking lot every time it rains. It looks like a sculpture garden and the maintenance guys have to come bail us out every time.

Although if you’re off adventuring, maybe we can offer you an alternative option that might help with the metal problems? The answer is this deluxe tin woodsman costume. If you wear this instead of that old tin you have on, you’ll probably be fine! This outfit is 100% polyvinyl, so it won’t rust up on you if you’re outside and it rains. It still looks like metal though, with a shiny jacket and pair of pants to match. There’s even a head piece! So you’ll look about the same without some of the… issues. Just keep in mind you’ll have to provide your own funnel and axe. Good luck heart hunting!