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Do you feel like all your evil potential is being squandered five days a week at your boring nine-to-five? Like the cells in those daily spreadsheets mean next to nothing by your lofty and morally ambiguous ambitions? Like those sales calls spent pitching vacuum cleaners or penny stocks, in the grand scheme of things, amount to little more than valuable practice at honing your persuasion.

Maybe it’s time you started working for that most brilliant of devious supervillains Gru! With this Adult Minion Headband, we have it on good authority that you will be able to sneak right past the sharks and cameras and flesh-piercing lasers and right into his lab. The best part? You’ll easily be able to fit in with Bob, Stuart, and Kevin while you help them make fart guns and anti-gravity serums.