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“I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell how it’s going to begin.”?Neo’s phone message to the Machines.

So you’re a ‘normal citizen with a social security number’ named Thomas Anderson who just found that you’ve been prophesied by The Oracle to be The One! Which is pretty trippy for a dude who works as a computer programmer for the MetaCortex software company by day and a hacker selling contraband programming under the alias Neo by night. Incidentally, though, that lil’ alias is going to come in real handy in this new world you’re just about to be initiated into.

Anyway, so this cool dude Morpheus and his Nebuchadnezzar crew have come along to set you out on a course to free humanity from the Matrix and end the Machine War. There’s lots of talk about who’s a “bluepill” and who’s a “redpill”, and one point you have this really rad subconscious experience where you basically learn Kung Fu in about 5 seconds. Which is super cool and we’re really happy for you, but here’s some bad news -you’re gonna need all of those Kung Fu moves and more, because some real drag dudes in black suits and sunglasses are about to come and ruin all of your sweet party times.

Which means it’s time to suit up in this Adult Neo Costume! It’s the unitarian look that your digital-loving soul craves, and it even comes with sunglasses, so you can keep your poker face going when that dude with a real rude ‘tude, Mr. Smith, tries to get all up in your grill. Dodging bullets and saving the world…welcome to your new life, Neo!