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Who wouldn’t want to run their hands all over Ted’s soft fur? I mean, he might make a lewd joke about it, but having a living stuffed animal is like all the perks of pet ownership with none of the hassle. No training, no shedding, and presumably Ted doesn’t need to go potty, right?

Don’t you just wish you had a profane talking teddy bear with you right now? Well, we have something that’s even better than carrying around your childhood toy with you forever: Your own Adult Ted Plus Size Hoodie! When you’re wearing it, you’ll feel just like the talking teddy bear you love so much. If you’d rather be Ted’s pal than have his id-focused animus laid over your own persona, get it for your most Ted-like friend. That’s kind of a compliment, right? At least they’re never boring!

Few can claim as meteoric a rise from obscurity as Ted––from being jailed for drug possession to presenting an award at the Oscars! What? Robert Downey, Jr., you say? Mickey Rourke? Tim Allen? (Look it up, folks!) Okay, so maybe a lot of celebrities have had similar trajectories. But few have endured it with as much grace and class as Ted. Just kidding! Grace and class have never been Ted’s strong suits, but this plush hoodie is perfect for the graceless and classless activities of partying, gettin’ lifted and watching Flash Gordon, or whatever your chosen avenue of leisure is.