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It’s not easy being a priest. To wear the cloth it takes years of devotion to prayer, study, and community. You have to sit through endless confessionals. You have to come up with something clever to put on the sign outside the church every week. You have to be careful not to spill the communion wine on your parishioners, hit them with the censer as you’re swinging it down the aisle, and coming up with a fresh sermon must be even harder than writing a Halloween costume description.

But priests don’t have it all bad! You never have to tie a necktie because your clerical collar is appropriate for all occasions. You never have to get married, which only sounds like a downside until you’ve actually been married — then it sounds great! And who else can give a basket to a group of people and expect it to come back filled with sweet cash? If we tried that all we’d wind up with is one less basket.

That’s right; priests have it a lot better than you might think. When you wear our traditional priest costume, you won’t be able to walk ten feet without a nice old lady offering you to bake something and then admitting all the horrible things she’s done to you. Be sure to get a rosary and a crucifix to complete this ensemble. Or just carry around a yard stick and remind people why they used to stay quiet in algebra class!