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The life of a super hero is not all that’s it’s cracked up to be. First of all, there’s the whole need for secrecy thing. I mean, what’s the point of being a super hero, if you can’t tell anyone? How else am I supposed to pick up chicks? Don’t get me wrong. I do fine just fine on my own, and I’m way better looking than the Green Goblin. Heck – who isn’t?! Not that I have a snowball’s chance of landing a date with my crazy schedule anyway. I can’t even tell you how many times I had to cancel a date at the last minute because someone needed saving.
There’s no money in it either. It’s not like I can submit a bill to the mayor and expect payment. If you don’t have a good paying ‘cover’ job, like Clark, or are not independently wealthy, like Bruce, you end up living in your grandma’s basement. I do get to write off my work clothes on my taxes. So, there’s that …
Speaking of clothes … this one-piece body suit covers you from head to toe and is way better than Superman’s cheesy get up. Hello?! Capes are so last season! Plus, it has grips on the feet, which help when you need to take your lunch breaks hanging off the side of a skyscraper … I really need to get a better job.