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Pirates are so misunderstood. Almost everyone seems to think that pirates were fabulously stinky. But why do people think this? Is there a history of the Caribbean out there somewhere that claims that buccaneers were plagued by body odor?

But, you might protest, they went on long sea voyages, with nowhere to bathe but the briny salt sea. Sure, that could make them a little smelly. But wouldn’t it also motivate them to create extra-powerful and sweet-smelling colognes? Think about it. The rest of the human race didn’t just give up when they realized that they were starting to get pretty ripe. It took some doing, but they eventually invented underarm deodorant! Are you trying to say that pirates didn’t persevere? It sounds to us like they were some pretty dogged people.

Fine, you make the call! This pirate shirt doesn’t come with any imitation pirate-stench, so if you believe in the odorific old-fashioned version of events, you can supply your own.