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Yup, you clicked on this costume, didn’t you? But don’t worry, we’re not thinking any less of you. Perhaps you’re a high school health teacher. What better visual aid than a giant, anatomically correct (well… relatively) penis that you can wear?! Finally, an easy way to illustrate the difference between the urethra and the vans deferens (as if you didn’t already know, right?). Or maybe you just want to show your guy friends that you’re willing to take on any possible dare, like wearing this outfit to work. It’s a ballsy move, bud. Some people say size matters. Some people say size doesn’t matter. But when you’re talking about a six foot tall penis, does anything really matter?

Strutting around in this outfit, you’ll definitely feel like the cock of the walk (ahem). These are the twig and berries you’ve been looking for. This trouser snake is on the loose. Your soldier is at attention and reporting for duty. If you want an outfit sure to attract envy from every man around, stand tall. We could make a whole bunch more penis puns, but you don’t care, do you? No, of course not. You didn’t click on this costume because it’s a maybe. You clicked here because you already know what you want. You want to walk around dressed as a giant penis and that’s that. We’d be surprised if you even read this far, given how obviously excited you are. So go on, buy it, try it on, see if it fits and have yourself an unforgettable time!