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Your rhymes might need some work. Your flow might be more of a dribble. But being a rapper is about commitment. If you can prove that you’re dedicated to your craft, people will at least have to give you a little credit for trying. So maybe you haven’t gotten around to cutting that album you’re always talking about. So what?

Here’s a little free advice: try switching up your hairstyle. Keep it short in the back, so that everybody knows how serious you are about your art. Puff it up in the front so that they can measure just how long you’ve been devoted to achieving hip-hop super-stardom. A streak of blond in the front will make sure that even the folks in the back row can see what’s going on up there. Or, if you don’t think your new ‘do will fly at your day job, you could throw on one of these wigs before you take the stage. Someday you’ll make it, and your haters will be left scratching their heads.