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Maybe you always dreamed of that coveted starting QB spot in high school, but it just never worked out that way. Maybe you always wanted to date the head cheerleader, but she only noticed guys on varsity. Maybe you always wanted that sweater with the letter, but they were only for the guys who weren’t you.

Maybe you never cared for any of that at all, but you wouldn’t mind a satirical tip of the hat to those bros who you never identified with. No matter your aspirations, inspirations, or motivations, the sweater doesn’t discriminate. It’ll turn you into a stud without all that pesky, messy, upward social mobility or the hassle of joining a team. It’s all-acrylic, with an appliqued “V” on the left chest and three knitted-in stripes on the left sleeve, and all you’ll need is a tie and some slacks to match. We’ll leave it up to you to attribute symbolism to the stripes and a word for the “V.” Like, we have ideas, but this is your fantasy, satirical or not, and we’ve made the collective decision to give you full autonomy in how it plays out. You do you, bro.