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Maybe you’re a world-famous face from wildlife television. Maybe you’re the head of a castaway family from the Alps. We don’t care who you are: we think you’ll find this Ostrich Costume really moving!

Okay, we do care who you are: that last part was kind of a rhetorical misstep. What we mean is that whether you’re the President of the United States or a waiter at the local diner, this costume will look funny. Good funny, we mean. The kind that will make people laugh with you, not at you! Alright, they might laugh at part of you, but they’ll be laughing at part of not-you, too. The goofy fake legs coming out of the ostrich’s side! They’ll be laughing at those!

We’re sorry. Sometimes we try to explain why we think a particular costume would be a good choice, and it starts to sound a little too personal. That makes us want to stick our heads in the sand. But don’t stick your Ostrich Costume’s head in the sand, because the face is one of the best parts. Just look at that tongue! Wait. How is it an insult to say that your ostrich has a nice tongue?

Clearly we should let the picture do the talking. If you want to wave at people from the back of a big fluffy bird like the guy in the picture, you want this costume. No, we’re not implying that the guy in the picture is a big fluffy bird. That’s absurd!

This costume is really great. There, we said it! Now we’re going to zip it!