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If you find yourself being whirled around in a tornado, fêted by Munchkins, or insulted by a witch while wearing this Toto the Dog Plus Size Costume, don’t panic. These sorts of things happen to little black dogs when they aren’t in Kansas anymore. Just look for a nice girl dressed in a blue gingham dress, and follow her back home. You can even hitch a ride in her picnic basket! Everything will be fine then.

See, everyone knows the story of Toto so well that we can make in-depth references to it. Dorothy and Toto get taken to Oz by tornado, land on witch, meet Munchkins, make some flawed friends, and meet a nasty, huckster wizard. Our heroes realize they aren’t so flawed after all, Dorothy and Toto go home to Kansas, and everyone lives happily ever after. I mean, it’s usually Dorothy’s story, but we can all imagine Toto’s perspective on it.

Audiences may be less familiar, however, with the plots of the numerous sequels Oz author L. Frank Baum penned. Like soap operas and superhero comics, any sufficiently long-running fictional narrative is eventually going to accumulate so much backstory as to become sort of insane, so we’ll just pick some of the highlights from Toto’s further adventures for you so you can see what you’re missing. After 8 Oz books, Toto reveals he’s been able to talk the entire time they’ve been in Oz, and just chooses not to. Okay. He later becomes First Magistrate of “Arfrica” after recovering their ivory scepter, which Toto mistook for a bone. He forces the population of Arfrica to learn to speak dog, and narrowly escapes an arranged marriage with a human princess. Don’t you wish this was all in the movie? It’s so hard to figure out why they stopped after the first one!