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Athena! Your wisdom is sought across all the lands. You are a brilliant strategist and will always defend those in need, plus the entire city of Athens is basically yours. The Parthenon is basically your house (downside: being that smart kind of makes you intimidating to most dudes).

Aphrodite! Desired above all others, you radiate beauty and men fall all over themselves to please you. You get your pick of pretty much anyone and can make them fall in love with you. Sure, they end up fighting each other, but hopefully they won’t bleed on your dress (downside: you’re basically always naked and riding on a clam shell, which does not look comfortable. Meh, trade-offs).

Persephone! Goddess of the underworld, every year you return and bring spring, and bless the world with fertility (downside: you have to spend four months of the year in the underworld, and you know what that damp air does to your clothes. Also, Hades has some serious BO issues that he’s just not addressing).

Whichever goddess is your goddess, make sure you look your absolute best in this gorgeous dress certain to be the envy of everyone on Mount Olympus. And if any puny humans dare cross you… you shall smite them with the rage only an immortal being born of gods can bring! Good grief, goddess, you’ve gone and gathered our gaze to your gorgeous, gallant grace without guile. And apparently also altered us into alliterating apes. Such is the wonder of your presence, your grace, that the mere mortals whose eyes lay upon you be left speechless at the sight.