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“I am a real American. Fight for the rights of every man. I am a real American. Fight for what’s right. Fight for your life!”
Listen up, brother. The Hulkster has been working out hard for all you Hulkamaniacs out there and he’s here to give you his demandments: 1. Hulk needs you to eat your vitamins, brother. Nothing will help you grow up big and strong like Hulk Hogan than getting your necessary vitamins, brother. Once you’ve had your vitamins, all you Hulkamaniacs need to start training, brother. You think Hulk was born with those muscles? Uh-uh. it’s all about showing up and working out, brother. And lastly, little Hulkamaniacs, you gotta say your prayers. That’s the Hulk Hogan way, brother.
You’re going to want to buy a few copies of this costume. If history is anything to go by, an important aspect of Hulk Hogan lore is ripping off your tank top whenever you’re about to throw down. How many tank tops did Hulk rip off over the years? Who can say. Probably a million. No! A billion! A billion tattered shirts lay in his wake. That’s the power of Hulk Hogan, brother. And when you rip that tank top off, people everywhere will know you mean business. The Hulk Hogan shirt rip is a universal symbol of power and righteous anger, whether you’re in Tokyo or Toronto or Timbuktu. All people know the yellow and red, and all people know those golden locks and mutton chops underneath that bandana. America is counting on you, brother. You are a real American!