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Seven dwarves, all equally needy, all with a different defining characteristic to worry about. Can you imagine having to look after seven dwarves? Seven! That is a tremendous workload. Because it’s not like these are seven cats, who basically take care of themselves (and would make this princess the ultimate cat lady). No, we’re talking about real people. And each one of them needs to be fed. Each one of them coming home after a long day in the mines and demanding dinner. And don’t even think about the amount of laundry! It would never end!

She’s just a saint for putting up with that at all, let alone as long as she did. All for what? For being fairest of them all—or so the tale goes. If things are so fair, how did she get trapped in that thankless gig. Besides, you know that mopey one was always trying to sneak a kiss with her, pretending he didn’t know any better. Little suspicious, if you ask us. Did the dwarves even have healthcare? Probably not. They probably weren’t unionized in that mine. But it all turned out pretty good in the end. The princess got to escape the dwarves and go off with the handsome prince (and she escaped the evil witch, obviously).

Escape that unfair workload and stay the fairest of them all by dressing up in this fancy Poison Apple Princess costume. Everyone will know that you serve no dwarf nor man, and you’re the queen of your own life. Tell those dwarfs where to stick their dirty clothes, because you don’t need them anymore! But you’re nice about it still, because the princess is always a sweetheart, even when she’s being worked to death without so much as a thank you. Go back to the mines, you ungrateful dwarves! It’s time for this princess to have her own life at last!