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No one appreciates how much work goes in to being a wench. First of all, everyone is constantly calling out “Wench!” Yeah, as if we haven’t heard that about three dozen times already today. I’ll get there when I get there, bud. Easy on the mead. And watch where you’re grabbing with those hands. This isn’t our first Renaissance Faire, you know. Then you’ve got the knights. Hoo boy those knights. Sure they’re handsome and heroic and brave, but all of that armor is uncomfortable. Ever try hugging one of those guys? It’s like being trapped inside a tin can. Not fun. Much better once they get the armor off though, as long as they can part with their horses. Knights love their horses, and constantly smell like them. It can be a bit distracting, which is why a good wench always carries some incense to mask the smell.

But the hardest part of being a wench is that everything is so dirty! You’d think these Renaissance Faires would understand how much work it is to look this good. Sure, we make it look easy, but it’s frustrating when you take one step and you’re ankle deep in horse manure. There go your new boots! And all of the mead that gets spilled on you. By the end of the faire, you smell like a bar. And the corset? Well, yes it highlights some of our… assets, but you try being tied into a corset for eight hours a day! it’s brutal. Fortunately, life at the faire isn’t all bad. We know a guy who gives us a discount on our giant turkey legs, and we always get the best seats for watching the jousts, and men are always giving us roses. It’s sweet when they’re not grabbing your butt at the same time. We admit it, we love the Renaissance Faire. Nothing is quite the same. So grab your costume and get ready to show all the lads what a real woman looks like, wench! We’re in this together!