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Every true player dreams of getting paid to compete in the game that they love. But professional leagues have, well, professional standards. So if your idea of basketball fun is more along the lines of pitting your power forward against a grumpy grizzly bear in a cage match, you might want to stay Semi Pro.

At this level, it’s perfectly acceptable to call your team the Tropics, even if they’re based in a suburb of Detroit. And if you tend to get stage fright, you might appreciate that the crowds tend to be much smaller than the raucous fanbases that fill the biggest arenas in the country. Most spectators wouldn’t understand your innovative style of play, anyway. So even if the gentle retro curves and colors of your team uniform are the prettiest thing on the court come tipoff, try to remember that you and Jackie Moon are really out there playing for pride (and the other lovable misfits on the court!)