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We thought it would be pretty darn cool to give you a laser gun to play with, but then we found out how dangerous and expensive they were. That always happens to us.
So instead, we offer you this toy Special Ops Laser Cannon. We have heard that imagination is often better than the real thing. We’re skeptical, but we’re also kind of cheap. So toy military laser it is, friend! We really do see the benefits of the decision; it seems much safer and we can still afford to pay our health insurance. If you add this steely looking dual-barreled accessory to an army costume, you can feel just as powerful as if we’d sold our kidney and got your the real thing. Besides, when you start making “PEW!PEW!PEW!” noises, it is actually just as much fun as a real one. We tried it out.