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There’s a lot to learn from Little Red Riding Hood’s timeless tale. First off, always bring something when you visit someone. If it’s your grandma, goodies are certainly in order. Remember, this is your grandma, without whom you almost certainly wouldn’t exist, so only goodies will do. Not okayies, not almostgoodenoughies, but goodies. Don’t be a cheapskate. Second, always inspect everyone you meet to make sure they aren’t some animal in disguise. People might say you’re paranoid, but a paranoid is just someone who has all the facts.

Finally, and this part’s key, always have a friend on call who can come bail you out of trouble. It doesn’t have to be a woodsman with an axe. Axes are only good for solving very specific situations, really. For example, if you’re upset at the airplane stewardess because she won’t give you a full can of Dr. Pepper, don’t have your friend come over with an axe. Air marshals generally frown on it. But do have someone in mind who can show up at the eleventh hour to come bail you out of trouble, whether you’re about to be eaten by a wolf, you need a ride home from the airport because they wouldn’t let you on the plane, or even if you just need a plain old cup of flour because you’re baking your grandma some goodies.

Now that you’re living your life according to the gospel of Little Red Riding Hood, you’re worthy of wearing her threads. This costume is the whole enchilada, inclusive of everything you need to go gallivanting through the forest. The hooded cape is key, of course, but the tutu, apron, bows, and leotard will give you a look worthy of applause. The beautiful checkerboard dress pattern is the same made famous everywhere by endearing fairy tale characters and Italian restaurant tablecloths alike. Over the mountains and through the woods, right?