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We were really excited to talk about this Women’s 1920s Silver Flapper Costume and the fun you could have wearing such a unique combination of sparkly sequins with scintillating black fringe and gauzy lace. We were probably going to babble, because we think you’d look so great in the matching headband and gloves that people might have a hard time glancing away. And that would mean less time to steal a nip from a hip flask, on account of Prohibition!

But we just overheard someone saying that we weren’t true fans of F. Scott Fitzgerald. And since he’s practically the patron saint of classy flapper costumes, we felt the need to defend our honor! We’d do pretty much anything to visit the Left Bank when the Lost Generation was finding itself in Paris, because it would mean meeting our greatest literary idol and his brilliant contemporaries. Hailing from Minnesota ourselves (and having read a few books our hero hadn’t even written yet!), we’re pretty sure we’d have a lot to talk about.

Sorry! This isn’t supposed to be about us. It’s supposed to be about you, and about your bright future with this magnificent throwback outfit! So if you’ll do us a solid and try to remark on the silver pepper of the stars when you step out for air at the party, we’ll happily send you one of these dazzling costumes. And then we’ll head back to our desks, since we’ve just about finished retyping every word of The Great Gatsby. Hey, we heard it was good practice!