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Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!
Being a bio-exorcist—getting the living to leave their home for the souls still lingering there—must be difficult, especially for those not in the know. Dealing with the newly deceased must be more stressful than serving coffee on a Monday at LAX. Think of all the dirty looks, the perpetual screams, the pants peed in out of pure fright, all forming a tableau of sinister proportions.
Everyone knows Beetlejuice is the only ghost you need to call (upon) to get rid of those undesirables—what a unique service!—so give everyone what they’ve been asking for (three times in a row), why don’t you?! Obviously, in order for them to never come back, you’ll need to make sure that you scare those pesky air-breathers to near-death. Good thing you’re here! What’s your game—jump-scares, eerie paranormality, gross morbidity? Do you wear a hockey mask? Do you have blades for fingers? Alright, alright, you’re the expert. Just go do your thing.
You should probably dress the part too, huh? Suit up like a true-to-death freelance bio-exorcist ghost in this Beetlejuice Corset Costume! It’s a sexy twist on the iconic Tim Burton character, complete with fingerless gloves, a foam hat mounted on a metal alligator hair clip, and a creepy, foam-backed corset. Looking this ghastly, you’ll never be able to stifle the calls from innumerable Handbooks for the Recently Deceased—assuming they can pronounce Betelgeuse! Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!