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Let’s face it, Goldilocks wasn’t the nicest of young ladies. She committed multiple crimes against that nice family of bears and we’ve all just turned a blind eye on account of her being a seemingly sweet and friendly girl. But this kind of preferential treatment must come to an end. Goldilocks must be held accountable for her actions. Breaking and entering, destruction of property, even sleeping in someone else’s bed (we don’t think that one’s a crime, but it is a bit rude). It seems to us that Goldilocks likes breaking the rules and doesn’t mind if other people know it either. If you’d like to give Goldilocks a character makeover so she’s less of a criminal and more of a sweetheart, then we support you on that. Plus, you’ll be getting to wear this luxurious Goldilocks costume and that’s a pretty big perk.

We think you already know that a lot of bears have lost their habitat to deforestation and hunting so, the last thing these poor, defenseless bears need is more persecution and harassment from those mischievous girls who think the rules don’t apply! The bears demand restitution. A public apology! . So fix that, do some public appearances and change Goldilocks image. Help the bear community realize that you’ve grown and moved on from your past silly transgressions. You’ll have those bears wrapped around your finger, forever, and Goldilocks won’t be seen as a storybook character who loves to break the rules.