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Where’s the fun in being a trophy queen?
Seriously, anybody can just sit there on a throne wearing fancy dresses and demanding that someone bring food. It doesn’t take brains or guts to demand pretty presents and wave off peasants. It doesn’t take any skill or talent to sit on one’s royal behind.
But that’s not really what a ruler is. No, the ruler is the go-getter, the protector of the land, and the one who sets things straight and gets things done. For instance, taking care of that pesky nest of dragons and booting out deadbeat lords trying to schmooze around the castle. And to do that, we need an actual queen, not some crown-wearing doll. We need someone not afraid of a little blood, who knows how to use a sword, who isn’t going to back down when the king throws a fit again. This requires a queen of strength and character.
Which is why you’re here, isn’t it? You heard the ad put out by the town crier and you’ve shown up to lead us into battle? Perfect, but you can’t go looking like that. Maybe if you put on something more regal, like this queendom come costume. It’s a pullover gown in metallic knit with pleated skirt and scoop neck. Just top it off with your weapon of choice and you’ll be good to lead! And trust us; we’ll be happy to follow.