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A lot of people are under the mistaken impression that the gladiatorial games of Ancient Rome were nothing more than a no-holds-barred slaughterfest. But did you know that gladiators sometimes fought naval battles aboard ships in a flooded arena or a nearby lake? Neither did we, but then we were also surprised to learn that gladiator sweat was collected and sold to wealthy spectators as a skin care product! It just goes to show that there’s more to being a gladiator than being the gruffest, toughest brawler.

So we’re not sure that this Women’s Victorious Beauty Gladiator Costume offers the best all-around protection from trident thrusts or hungry lions inside the coliseum. Even so, we’re going to assume that you’ve got a winning strategy tucked away somewhere under that fur-lined cape. We’re also going to assume that this strategy is not something we want to put to the test in glorious one-on-one combat before a rancorous public audience. In fact, we’d like it very much if you would pretty please not hurt us, right now, in front of everyone.

Well, when we set out to tell you about this outfit’s great-looking faux suede and velvet, we didn’t expect to wind up pleading for our lives! In fact, our hiring manager tells us that’s not supposed to be a part of anybody’s job description. But hopefully that will tell you something about this dazzling panoply and its power to make a lady look equal parts sharp-dressed and skilled with a blade. Thumbs up!