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Sometimes you just want to go off into the woods for some peace and quiet. Enjoy some nature, take in the fresh air, and feel like you’re really getting back to your roots (ha! Get it? Because trees have roots). But who has time for all that nature stuff? We’re all stuck in the rat race, going to work, paying bills, all that stuff we can never escape from. So how do you do it? How does someone go the Henry David Thoreau route and just ship off to Walden pond (or, if there’s no Walden near you, any other remote bit of the world where people won’t come knocking down your door)? It sounds impossible, doesn’t it? But it’s not, because Woodland Fairies are out there, ready to help us escape into the wilderness.

How? Because they give you the chance to become a Woodland Fairy too! Yes, just slide into this lovely costume, give away all of your worldly possessions, commit yourself to walking barefoot through the woods, even if that means stepping in poop sometimes, and you’ve done it! You’re completely withdrawn from human contact. On the other hand, you won’t be able to use your phone to Instagram the surrounding natural beauty. And you won’t be able to use Facebook to post smug self-satisfied updates on your new life away from technology. Well, those are just the prices one pays for being a Woodland Fairy. You thought it would be all butterfly wings and rainbows, didn’t you? Okay, it is mostly butterfly wings and rainbows, that’s true. So escape the rat race, little fairy. Your destiny with nature is upon you!