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Listen, we’re gonna keep it real: We like to watch a lot of Law & Order: SVU, and one thing we’re not cool with is the old idea of a pimp running girls on the streets. It ain’t right, and it ain’t cool for your karma, bro!

So let’s just all agree that we’re not gonna perpetuate that old model of doing things, and let’s usher in a new, cooler, more progressive definition of “pimp daddy”, dig? Like, for instance, what if you were the kind of pimp daddy who supported and therefore helped further both the professional and personal ambitions of the women in your life? You obviously got a lot of love to give, so you’ve studied up on polyamory and it feels like something that matches your own heart. However, you also respect women and like them to feel like the queens they are, and so it’s important to you that you are able to use your connections to help them get to the top of their game. After all, pimps aren’t anything if not the original gangsters of networking, yeah? Yeah! And in this patriarchal society, it’s up to the families we make to ensure that women get the leg up they need to help break through that glass ceiling and succeed at anything they put their mind to!

So if you’re woke to this modern rebranding of the pimp image, then we support you in turning yourself into a real cool cat with this Big Daddy Pimp Plus Size Costume. So hip it’s fly, this 100% polyester costume features a purple one piece jacket with a zebra striped foam collar and matching purple pants. It even comes with a large purple hat with a zebra band on it! Add some high-heeled boots, an elaborate cane, and some large dark glasses, and you’ll be ready to run these streets…with the help of your intelligent, driven, and creative female companions, of course!