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Ah, Luigi, the forgotten Mario brother. Year after year, game after game, when does Luigi get the spotlight? Sure, they throw him a bone once in a while, but come on! They’re brothers! They’re supposed to be a team. But instead, Mario is off smooching Princess Peach while Luigi is stuck making microwavable dinners for one. “Heya, Mario, you needa the help witha thata Mr. Bowser?” (You can just hear that Italian accent, can’t you?). But every time, Mario’s response is the same: “Oh, Luigi, I-a forgot you were here. No no, I-a take care of Bowser already. We don’ta need you.” Disgraceful. Mario has no appreciation for family.

Well guess what, Mario. Your days of being the top dog are done. There’s a new brother in town and he’s even more super than you! Why do people like Mario anyway? He wears red. Big deal. You know who else wears red? Santa. Why is Mario stealing attention from Santa? Kinda rude, huh? Like maybe we shouldn’t be trusting Mario (if that’s his real name) with our pipes and our princesses anymore. As a matter of fact, how many times has Princess Peach been kidnapped by Bowser? At least a dozen, right? Doesn’t sound like Mario is doing all that much to actually keep her safe. Don’t you think, at the very least, that Luigi should have the chance to prove himself? Well, now he can. Suit up as the Superest Super Mario Brother and prove once and for all that the world should be celebrating Luigi, not ignoring him. We need a leader who can keep the Mushroom Kingdom safe. We need Luigi.