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Most things become a whole lot cuter when they’re shrunken down. Take humans for example. Little baby? Adorable, sign us up. We gotta pinch those cheeks. Fully grown adult? No…thank you, we’re all set with that. This rule holds true for nearly everything else too: dogs, cakes, bunnies, you name it. But clothes are the exception. Hard to make much use of a size .05 pair of pants in everyday life, no matter how much you cut down on the carbs.

…but hats are different. A tiny hat is always the greatest, sitting up there on your head and getting people talking about you. That’s why we took the best kind of hat, the top hat, shrunk it down using our top secret and oddly specific hat-shrinking machine, and gave it some flair with sequins, ribbon, and a saucy black veil. An elastic band holds the hat in place, so don’t worry if your head is bigger than a house cat’s. Unless you are a house cat, in which case how are you reading this?