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There are trade-offs involved in any career choice. If you choose to be a baker, for instance, you more or less give up the chance to sleep late in the mornings. If you opt for a career in professional sports, say goodbye to junk food. And if you opt for a job in the high-stakes field of clowning, you’re effectively sacrificing your chances of sneaking up on people ever again. That might not seem like such a big deal to some people, but those people don’t understand the pure joy that comes with a hard-earned bit of sneaking.

You’ll be spotted a mile away when you sport this hot pink, harlequin-style clown wig, which is going to make sneaking exceedingly difficult. The synthetic hair comes in three parts: a base with mesh net interior and two attachable curly poods. It’s the type of wig that’s guaranteed to attract attention, which is great for clowning and kind of a drag for sneaking.  Perhaps you’d best give up on the sneaky dreams and settle for being the life of the party. There are worse lots in life.