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So you ran away to join a band of pirates and sail on the seven seas!

Look, we get it – when we were teens, we wanted to run away and join Up With People, until our mom told us that they could barely afford deodorant, which we felt was just not hot, and so we stayed home. Do we sometimes wish we wouldn’t have listened to our mom and followed our dreams instead? Not at all! Do you know what it’s like to travel with a bunch of unwashed theater kids around the country, performing for small towns? We don’t either, and we hope to never find out!

But you, on the other hand, are taking your dream to the next level, which is super cool and commendable and totally courageous! Sure, you’ll probably get scabies and scurvy and a gnarly sunburn, and we can’t imagine that the other guys you’re gonna be pirating with are the smartest, most-well read dudes you’ve ever met, so you’ll probably have to get real creative with the conversation over your endless dinners of fish and more fish, but who are we to try to talk you out of your dreams? Get into this Teen Pirate Maiden Costume, get yourself a sword and some swashbuckling boots, and get on that boat to set sail for awkward bathroom-sharing situations and the worst seasickness you could have ever imagined! School will always be here for you when you realize that pirating is actually pretty dangerous and could definitely land you in jail, get you kidnapped by a band of much less chill pirates, or even get you killed! But you’ve totally thought this through, right?! If so, bon voyage, friend!