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How on Tom Brady’s green earth is it not against the rules for you to combine this football player outfit with your dashing good looks? Beware: most minds won’t have the constitution to handle such a perfect combination.

When professional football players exit the locker room and take to the field, barring injury, they are all decked out in their uniforms and pads like armor-clad warriors storming toward an epic battle (come to think of it, that’s exactly what it is, right?) Since television shapes our realities, it’s a bit difficult to imagine anyone but bulky mountainous men under all those pads, slamming into each other like territorial animals fighting for dominance. Wait… Come to think of it, that’s exactly what it is! But really, we’re serious proponents of equality, so if some skinny teenager wants to step into an exoskeleton and beat up on the jocks, more power to him! And if you’re a tough, independent bombshell confident in your ability to step out on that field and shut down the best receivers in town, we just love that.

If you decide to go and do that, extend us an invite, yeah? Before that, though, you’ll need to suit up in this Womens Touchdown Football Costume that mixes sexy with sporty. Go ahead, let them be distracted at practice. There will be no missing you on the post-game highlight reel. The matching black and blue, form-fitting jersey and pants will show off your team spirit and let you move freely as you snap the ball and rush down the field. Add a pair of sporty running or referee shoes to really help you stay light on your feet, and with the inflatable football and your lucky 7 on the jersey, you’ll be ready to play!